Ranma: The Musical
by Dreamlight
Summary: Kuno, being the idiot he is, summons a demon that causes everyone to sing and dance, but life isn't meant to be a song. Essentially it's Buffy: The Musical, but in Ranma's world .
1. Ranma's going through the motions

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma 1/2 or Buffy the Vampire Slayer.**

Things like this:  
**Ranma**: Going through the motions!  
Are singing.

Things like (Ranma dodges) are actions performed while singing.

_Author's note: I'll mention now that Akane and Ranma have no feelings other than a possible friendship in this story. This will be Ranma/Kasumi and Ryoga/Akane, sorry to the fans out there who don't like this. Don't like don't read._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ranma walked home from school alone, Akane had stayed behind for extra help in Home Economics, like that would really help her cooking skills. Usually he'd mind walking home without Akane, but lately he'd wanted time away from his fiancée. Sighing to himself, he leaped off the sidewalk and increased his pace, something was giving him the chills. After landing he heard the fence behind him rattling like mad. 

"Saotome prepare to die!" Kuno's voice yelled as he ran into the fence. Ranma sighed and got into a fighting stance.

::Begin song::

**Ranma**: Every single day the same arrangement  
I get attacked and fight.  
**Ranma**: (Dodges Kuno's swords swipes) Still I always feel this strange estrangement  
No one ever learns  
No one knows what's right

Ranma kicks Kuno sky-high, but Mousse appears behind him and attacks madly.

**Ranma**: I've been making shows of trading blows,  
just hoping someone knows  
That I'm really not a pervert  
That's just Happosai  
**Ranma**: (Gets in Mousse's face) Why do you want for me to ... die? (Kicks Mousse along Kuno's path.)

A crowd of girl chasing a short and bald man with the sack of panties appeared in front of him.

**Ranma**: (Grabs the old pervert)   
I've been very brave and kinda righteous,  
so why am I filled with misery? (Gets covered by the crowd of girls, each stomping on Happosai)

Happosai struggles to get out from under the crowd and they run away, thinking he's ran off. After they're gone the old man crawls from out of a trashcan and attacks Ranma.

**Ranma**: (Dodges a fire-bomb from Happosai)  
Crawl out of the trash   
you'll find this fight  
Just doesn't mean a thing (Is hit by Happosai)  
**Happosai**: You ain't got that swing (Crosses arms and glares at Ranma.)  
**Ranma**: (Jumps up) Thanks for noticing

Mousse and Kuno fall back down from the sky, landing on their feet with more grace than they'd shown before.

**Happosai, Kuno, Mousse**: (Begin dancing and singing together)  
**Happosai**: He fights pretty well with a pervert from hell  
**Mousse, Kuno, Happosai**: But lately, we can tell… that he's just  
**Kuno**: Going through the motions (Kuno is kicked again, but much farther this time.)  
**Happosai**: Faking it with tact (Happosai is caught by the crowd of girls and beaten.)  
**Mousse**: He's not even half the man he (Ranma throws him into a pond nearby)...Quack!  
**Ranma**: (Walks to the Tendo house)   
Will I stay this way forever?  
Sleepwalk through my life's endeavor?  
**A girl from the crowd that beat Happosai**: How can we repay yo-  
**Ranma**: (Ignores them and keeps walking) whatever

Ranma reaches the Tendo house.

**Ranma:** I don't want to be  
known as an evil pervert,   
losing all my pride.  
They can't even see (Leaps to the window of his room.)  
That this is really me, (Raises it and walks in)  
and I just wanna be (Lays down on his bed)  
Alone... (Closes his eyes and falls asleep.)

:::End Song:::  
  
                Kasumi walked in the house, having followed Ranma from school, and hearing his song. She looked up to the room he slept in and a frown appeared on her mouth. 

"Ranma..." She sighed sadly. "If only you'd told me face to face instead of singing it out ridiculously." Kasumi walked to the kitchen and prepared dinner, deciding to let Ranma sleep. Tomorrow had no school so she'd just make sure to have an extra-large breakfast for him the next morning. 

* * * Next Morning * * *

                Ranma yawned and stretched, thinking about the dream he'd had. Strange dreams had occurred before, but never ones involving a song-and-dance routine. He shrugged a bit, heading towards his closet and grabbing some clothes, making sure not to wake his father. Ranma left the room and headed for the bathroom, looking forward to a good soak. He opened the door and stripped, filling the tub as he did so.

"Weird dreams…" He sighed as he got in. Now that he thought about it, he couldn't remember getting home from school yesterday. Had that really been a dream?

                "Ranma?" A serene voice called from outside the room. Ranma blushed a bit, realizing it was Kasumi.

                "Y-yes?" He called back.

                "Breakfast will be ready soon," Kasumi replied. "Hurry or it'll get cold."

                "Okay!" Ranma said. He heard footsteps indicating she was leaving and he finished bathing himself. While draining the water he dried himself off and dressed, then left and headed down to the kitchen, where Kasumi had prepared the biggest meal he'd seen in a good while.

                "Good morning Ranma!" Kasumi exclaimed. "Since you missed dinner yesterday I made you a large breakfast."

                "Th-thanks Kasumi!" Ranma smiled as best he could while carrying his food to the table. Soon Kasumi appeared with food for the rest of the family.

                "You'd better hurry Ranma," Kasumi smiled. "We wouldn't want anyone to think I favor you."

                "Y-yeah," As soon as Kasumi left Ranma ate as quickly as possible, shoving food into his mouth and filling it to maximum capacity. By the time Soun, Nabiki, Akane, and Genma had appeared the food he'd been given was gone. Akane rubbed her eyes a bit, trying to fully wake up, and sat next to Ranma. Nabiki sat next to her father with Genma the opposite side of Ranma. They all quickly began eating and Kasumi soon joined them.

                "That's a lovely necklace you have Kasumi!" Soun praised. Kasumi wrapped her hands around the newly acquired jewelry.

                "Thank you father," She responded. "Shampoo was kind enough to give it to me. She said her great-grandmother no longer wanted it and was going to throw it away. Oh my! I forgot to bring in the laundry." After the words left her mouth she got up and left outside where the clothes had been hung.

                Ranma pondered the necklace suspiciously. While neither Shampoo nor Cologne had shown signs of bitterness towards Kasumi, he couldn't bring himself to trust them. Another thought appeared in his mind; maybe the others had sang yesterday as well. It couldn't hurt to ask…much.

                "Um… yesterday… did any of you …burst into song?" Ranma asked nervously. Everyone, minus Nabiki, looked at him with surprise. Then they all started speaking at the same time, voices overlapping each other."

                "Why yes!" Soun replied. "Yesterday when me and Saotome-" Genma was nodding in agreement and holding a sign with 'We should start a band!' written on it.

                "I was making cookies and-" Akane started.

                "Hm…I didn't," Nabiki said, continuing her meal. Ranma put his hand under his chin in thought.

                "Is it just us or-" Ranma was interrupted by yelling outside. He ran to the source and saw Kasumi holding up a shirt as if it were the Holy Grail. Sasuke and Kodachi were behind her dancing.

:::Begin Song:::

**Kasumi: **It got...   
The mustard…  
Out!

**Sasuke and Kodachi:** (Dance behind her) It got the mustard out!

::End Song::

                "Nope, I guess not," Ranma replied, smiling slightly. Even though it would be kind of funny to see everyone singing, he just couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen. He walked back inside, grabbed his wallet from the place he hid it, and walked back out, hoping Sasuke and Kodachi wouldn't notice him. As soon as Ranma got out he sighed in relief, just before leaping into the air. A boulder landed where he'd been a second ago.

"Good Ranma, I see your reflexes have been maintained," Ryoga said. Ranma landed behind the boulder and kicked it at the man who'd attacked him. Ryoga poked a finger into it and the giant rock shattered everywhere.

                "Can't we finish this another time?" Ranma asked, catching the shards of rock flying at him. Ryoga looked ready to bellow something…until he saw Akane running towards them with a basket in her hand.

                "Ranma!" She was yelling. "We need to pick up some vegetables from the market. Hi Ryoga!" Akane smiled at the lost boy.

                "H-hello," Ryoga stuttered.

                "Want to go shopping with us?" Akane asked. Ryoga nodded, his face filled with complete happiness.

                "Nah, it's okay," Ranma said, heading in the direction of the Tendo Dojo. "You guys go and have fun."

                "Okay," Akane called back, grabbing Ryoga's hand and walking away. Ryoga was too nervous to say anything else and just continued walking. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Well what do you think? Review please!_


	2. They have a theory!

_Disclaimer: No, I don't own Ranma ½. I also don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer._

_Thank you reviewers! I'm always grateful for reviews; it lets me know people are actually reading my stories._

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

            "Crud!" Ryoga groaned, he'd tried to lead Akane to the market but ended up bringing her right back to the Tendo Dojo. Akane muffled a giggle with her hand and dragged Ryoga inside the house.

"Back so soon?" Soun asked as they walked in, not looking up from a book he was reading. Next to him Genma and Ranma had their own books and were leaning over them. Kasumi walked in with snacks on a tray for them, leaving it on the table and going back to the kitchen.

"Yep!" Akane smiled at Ryoga, who blushed. "What're you guys doing?" She asked, looking over her father's shoulder.

We've decided something's causing us to sing," Genma said. "These books will tell us if anything like this has happened before."

Genma lifted his book. 'Dragonball Z' was written on the title and a spiky-haired man was on the cover.  Ranma fell off his seat.

"What're you doing old man?" Ranma got up quickly with an angry expression. Soun looked at Genma with a piercing stare.

"Saotome…you should be reading _this_!" Soun held up his book. 'Digimon' was on the cover and a kid wearing goggles held up the victory sign. Ranma, Ryoga, and Akane fell over. Genma glared, holding up his manga while Soun responded the same. Ranma grabbed both of the comics and threw them to the side.

"You're supposed to be looking though _this_!" The raven-haired man held up his book, a guide through spell and other magical things. Ryoga grabbed it and flipped through it.

"Do you have any ideas?" Akane asked. Ryoga pointed to a page in the book.

:::**Begin Song**:::

  
(_Happy upbeat music plays_)

**Ryoga:** I've got a theory,  
that it's a demon! (Squints and looks closer)  
A dancing demon- 

**Ranma:** (Studies the page Ryoga is looking at) No, something isn't right there. 

**Soun:** I've got a theory   
some kid is dreaming   
(Genma stands behind him and waves hands in dance)  
and we're all stuck inside   
His wacky Broadway nightmare.

**Akane:** (Looks at her father in exasperation) I've got a theory we should work this out 

**All:** It's getting eerie! (Exchange looks with each other)    
What's this cheery singing all about?   
**Genma:** (Snaps fingers) It might be Cologne!  
That evil Cologne!  
(Cologne appears in the doorway and glares at Genma, who sweats nervously and holds hands up in defense.)  
Which is ridiculous   
'Cause Cologne,  
She leads the Amazons.  
And she is good  
and loves us all,  
and women power,  
and I'll be over here. (Genma retreats behind Akane who raises an eyebrow at him.)

**Ranma:** (Holds up a finger) I've got a theory!  
It could be kittens

(Crickets chirp while everyone stares at Ranma oddly as he grins sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head)

**Akane:** I've got a-   
  


:::_Fast rock beat starts_:::

**Ranma:** (Makes air guitar motions) Kittens aren't just cute like everybody supposes   
they've got those narrowed eyes and twitchy little noses!  
And what's with all the meowing?   
What do they need so much attention for anyways?   
(Sparks fly from the ground)   
Kittens! Kittens!  
It must be kittens!  
(Akane hits him upside the head and the special effects stop. Ranma gives an apologetic look and shrugs.)

:::_Happy upbeat returns_:::

**Ranma:** Or maybe Shampoo? (Cologne glares at him, making him sweat)

**Akane: **(Shakes her head in exasperation)  
I've got a theory,

**Akane and Ryoga:** we should work this fast. 

**Cologne****:** (Looks at Genma, still upset with his earlier comment.)   
Because it clearly could get serious   
before it's passed (Cracks her knuckles meaningfully, causing Genma to gulp.)

**Kasumi:** (Walks in the room and stands at the center of them all.) I've got a theory-  
  


::: _Inspiring music plays_:::

**Kasumi:** It doesn't matter.   
(Looks at Ranma) What can't we face when Ranma is there?   
What's in this world that he can't weather? (Looks at everyone as if daring an argument)  
Strong fighters?   
We've all been there.  
The same old curse,  
why should we care?   
**All except Ranma:** (Gather around Ranma)   
What can't he do if he gets in it?   
He'll beat them through within a minute.  
He'll have to try   
He'll throw the dice   
It's do or die   
**Ryoga:** (Grins at Ranma) They'll have to kill him twice.  
**All except Ranma:** What can't we face if Ranma is there?  
**Kasumi:** (Echoes) What can't he face,  
**All except Ranma:** What's in this place that he can't weather?  
**Kasumi:** (Echoes) What's in this place?  
**All except Ranma:** (All place hands on Ranma's shoulder)  
There's nothing he can't face (All separate and go to seats.)  
**Ranma:** (Sags in a seat.) Except for kittens.

::: **End Song**::

"Well that was fun," Kasumi stated, giving Ranma a smile as she picked up the dirty dishes. 

"Yes it was," Soun agreed and, as soon as Kasumi left, turned to Ranma. "NOW GO FIND WHAT'S CAUSING THIS!"

           "Wait a second Soun," Cologne interrupted, moving between the two. "I've discovered something about what's going on." 

"And what's that?" Soun asked. Everyone nodded, curiosity arising in him or her. 

"The fool Kuno has somehow managed to cause all this," The aged woman explained. "The spell should wear off soon but I warn you to be careful, these songs we sing seem to reflect our hearts." 

"What d'ya mean ghoul?" Ranma asked. Cologne looked Ranma in the eyes. 

"Because of these songs you don't have to worry about Mousse attacking you, or Shampoo marrying you," She said. Ranma looked as if several weights had been lifted from him, he even smiled a bit. 

"Why?" Akane asked. Cologne sighed. 

"It seems Shampoo really did harbor feelings for the blind boy," She sighed again. "And the Amazon rules state one man per woman, and that man must be the one she desires most. Sorry Ranma, but she chose him over you." 

Ranma shrugged. "I'm happy for 'em." 

Ryoga walked over to Akane. "Um…Akane…I was wondering…." 

"Yes Ryoga?" Akane turned to the lost boy. 

"There was a restaurant nearby that recently opened, but I'd get lost on the way there," Ryoga said sheepishly. 

"That sushi bar? You want me to go with you?" Akane asked. Ryoga nodded, a blush appearing on his face. "Okay Ryoga," She said, grabbing his hand and walking off. 

"Shouldn't you be stopping them?" Happosai asked, having walked in after they'd left. Ranma shrugged, it had taken a while and some effort on his part to finally accept that Akane didn't have any feeling for him. It still left a twinge in his heart when he saw her with Ryoga, the guy she'd confessed to liking, but he'd support her as long as she was happy. If Ryoga hurt Akane though…the lost boy had better _stay lost, for his sake. _

"Nah, it's her life," Ranma said. "Let her do what she wants with it." Happosai seemed to be in a dilemma, he didn't know if he should run after Akane and Ryoga, if he did his precious collection would be left unguarded. Happosai finally deemed the panties more important and ran off to his room.

* * Dr. Tofu's office. * * *

Tofu sat at his desk with the some papers nearby, some papers that stated everything about the ownership his house. Rubbing his forehead and sighing he began scribbling on a blank sheet.

_Dear Kasumi,_

_            I'm always going to regret leaving Nerima, so many things have happened here and I know that __New York__ isn't going to be the same. I'm leaving my old house to you, I've no need of it and it will cost more to sell than I'll gain and am willing to pay. Make good use of it_

_Love always,   
Tofu Ono._

After sealing the envelope Tofu walked outside gave it to a man waiting there.__

"Make sure Kasumi gets this as soon as possible," Tofu said, digging through his pack and handing the man two more envelopes. "These are for Ranma and Akane." The postman nodded and took off, leaving Tofu to his things. 

"I'll miss you all," He sighed and picked up his suitcases, putting them in the trunk of his car before getting in and driving off to the airport.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_So I made up an Amazon rule, that's why it's called FAN fiction. _

_Bye bye Tofu! Why'd I get rid of him? Well it's mainly because he doesn't contribute to the story and I plan on using his, now Kasumi's, house._

_One more thing! The reason I had everyone singing praises to Ranma, even Ryoga, was because the songs reflect what's inside, and I think they all truly believe in Ranma._

_That's all! Review!_

_-Dreamwriter_


	3. Keeping a Secret?

Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma or Buffy. Blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah? Blah!! Blah… 

_Author's notes: This song was possibly the hardest (So far) of all to convert from Buffy to Ranma so have some mercy. Shampoo and Mousse are also speaking/singing in Chinese, which is why Shampoo is speaking perfectly and not chopped._

****

Mousse removed his arm from around Shampoo as she sat up, rolling over and snuggling with his pillow. Shampoo smiled one of the smiles only Mousse was to see, a special one with eyes filled with happiness. Not even Ranma had seen this one.

"C'mon honey," Shampoo cooed in Chinese, shaking Mousse gently. The four-eyed youth yawned and opened his eyes, smiling as he gazed at Shampoo.

"Mornin'," He said sleepily. Shampoo giggled a little.

"What would you like for breakfast?" Mousse asked, sitting up.

"Oh no Mousse, you cooked yesterday," Shampoo rested a hand on her beloved's shoulder. "It's my turn. What do _you_ want?"

"Something fast and easy," Mousse thought about it. "How about eggs?"

"All right," The Amazon consented and, before standing up, gave Mousse a quick kiss.

::: _Begin song_:::

**Shampoo:** (Looks at Mousse with a smile.) This is the man that I plan to entangle  
Isn't he fine? (Stretches and stands up.)  
A seam to my dream was to train and become stronger,  
To make Ranma mine!  
But I'm out of that noose,  
the man I chased I'll trade for Mousse. (Walks to the kitchen and starts the stove)  
The only trouble is... (Shrugs)  
I'll never tell. (Breaks some eggs into a pan)

**Mousse: **(Walks by the kitchen.) She is the one she's such wonderful fun  
(Twirls Shampoo, who giggles.) Such passion and grace  
Warm in the night  
when I'm right  
in her tight embrace,  
Tight embrace (Let's Shampoo out of his grip and she resumes cooking)  
I'll never let her go  
The love we've known can only grow (Thoughtful look appears on his face)  
There's just one thing that-  
No. (Looks at Shampoo fondly and she smiles back at him)  
I'll never tell.  
**Both:** 'Cause there's  
Nothing to tell. (Sigh)

**Shampoo**: (Flips an egg) He snores  
**Mousse**: (Scuffs foot on the ground) She wheezes  
**Shampoo**: (Glares at Mousse) Say "housework," and he freezes  
**Mousse**: (Glares back.) She has these creepy sneezes  
that I can't describe!  
**Shampoo**: I talk,  
he breezes.  
**Mousse**: She doesn't know  
what cease is.  
**Shampoo:** His body has got curses  
from a Jusenkyo Spring! (Mousse gives her a dirty look)  
**Both:** The vibe gets kind of wary,  
**Mousse:** Like she thinks I'm ordinary.  
**Shampoo: **Like it's all just temporary.  
**Mousse: **Like her toes are kind of hairy.  
**Both: **but it's all very well!  
'Cause, gosh knows, I'll never tell!

(Mousse picks up the paper in the living room, which was originally the waiting room of the Cat Cafe. Shampoo walks to him with a glass of Orange Juice)

**Shampoo: ** Whenever things get worse  
He just hides behind his curse. (Mousse looks at her irritably)  
Now look, he's getting purse!  
'Cause he knows that I know.

**Mousse:** (Holds up a hand as if he counting things) She clings,  
She's needy  
She's also really greedy  
She never-

**Shampoo:** (Interrupts) His eyes are beady!

**Mousse:** (Rolls eyes) This is my line! Hello?!

::Jazzy music begins::

(Shampoo starts dancing, jerking her arms and legs randomly.)

**Shampoo:** Look at me!!  
I'm dancing crazy!

(Mousse joins in and dances. They both follow a perfect pattern for a while.)

::Original music returns::

**Mousse: **(Pulls Shampoo in close)  
**Both: **You know  
**Mousse:** You're quite the charmer  
**Shampoo: **My knight in armor  
**Mousse: **Even though you're kind of loopy (Pulls Shampoo in closer)  
Your lips as red as rubies,  
and you're firm yet supple- (Looks at her chest and blushes heavily before diverting his gaze) tight embrace

::Music slows::

**Shampoo: **He's swell  
**Mousse:** She's sweller  
**Shampoo:** He'll always be my feller   
**Mousse: **That's why I'll never  
tell her that I'm petrified!  
**Shampoo: **I've read this tale (Sighs and separates from Mousse)  
There's wedding  
then betrayal.  
I know there'll come the day  
I'll want to run and hide (Looks back at Mousse sadly)

**Both: **I lied (Look down to the ground)  
I said it's easy.  
I've tried  
But there's these fears I can't quell (Look at each other and hold hands)  
**Mousse: **Is she looking for a faithful maid?  
**Shampoo: **(Grins nervously) Will I look good when I've gotten (Coughs) laid? (Both blush and look away from each other.)  
**Mousse: **Will our lives become too stressful  
if I'm never that successful?  
**Shampoo:** (Pulls her cheeks out and looks into a mirror)  
When I get so worn and wrinkly  
that I look like David Brinkley  
**Mousse: **Am I crazy?  
**Shampoo:** Am I dreamin'? (Looks back at Mousse)  
**Mousse: **Am I marrying  
a demon? (Twirls Shampoo)  
**Both:** (Face each other) We could  
really raise the beam  
in makin' marriage a hell!  
So, thank god,  
I'll never tell

**Both: **(Walk in a circle) I swear  
that I'll never tell

**Mousse:** My lips are sealed (Makes gesture of zipping his lips)  
**Shampoo:** (Holds up one hand) I plead the fifth  
**Mousse: **(Takes off his glasses) Nothing to see!  
**Shampoo:** (Gestures as if guiding people) Move it along  
**Both:** I'll never tell (Both sit on the couch and laugh.)

::: End Song:::

A couple of minutes after they ended the song loud beeping sounds could be heard and smoke drifted from the kitchen.

"The eggs!" Shampoo panicked and bolted for the kitchen. Mousse sighed and pulled his hands over his eyes. Of all the songs to sing it had to be about his upcoming marriage with Shampoo? He began to wonder if Ranma had discovered anything since Cologne had left.

Kasumi and Ranma walked into Tofu's old house, both carrying luggage; though Ranma had significantly more.

'Thank you so much for helping me Ranma," Kasumi said. Ranma shrugged as if it were no big deal.

"It's nothing," He said, setting down the luggage. Kasumi set hers down and turned to Ranma.

"Could you bring in the rest as well?" Kasumi asked. Ranma nodded and headed outside, where most of the luggage still was. When he neared it he noticed that some of the luggage was his.

"Kasumi?" He called. "You packed some of my stuff by mistake."

"It was no mistake," Kasumi said, walking behind Ranma. The pig-tailed youth looked at her in surprise.

"I didn't do it!" Ranma protested. It was bad enough most girls in Nerima thought of him as a pervert; he didn't want Kasumi to as well.

"Don't be silly," Kasumi responded. "I just decided that you might be safer here, no more beatings from my sister or unwanted fiancée's."

"Y-you know about that?" Ranma gaped at her. Kasumi rolled her eyes.

"I'm not naïve you know," Kasumi retorted. Ranma suppressed a laugh as he remembered other times that contradicted her statement.

"You'll live here with me now, and I want no arguments," Kasumi stated before walking into the house. Ranma didn't know how to respond.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
_  
So who thought I was dead? Lol. I'm back, and plan on finishing all my unfinished work. Gosh knows I have enough of it._


End file.
